2017: a year in lists

Since everyone is doing it, then so am I. #original. 2017 was a huge year for me, in a lot of ways. emotionally, physically, etc. but that's heavy stuff for another day. today I'm going to share with you guys a list of things that are nice, that made me happy this year so that we can start off the new year on a good note. and ofcourse I had to make lists, because they make me feel accomplished.

list #1 (books)

1. A Darker Shade Of Magic by V.E Schwab (just schwab in general, I love her)
2.Bone Gap by Laura Ruby ( so much pretty so much character much wow)
3. All The Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater (ie QUEEN)
4. Three Daughters of Eve by Elif Shafak
5. I'll Give You The Sun
6.Sofia Khan is Not Obliged by Ayisha Malik  (#ownvoices, #relateable af, #funnaf GO READ IT)

list # 2 (book characters)
1. KELL FROM ADSOM OMG #kellfrowned and that was that
2. Sofia Khan from Sofia Khan is not Obliged (much hijabi Muslim sass much relate)
3. Lilah from ADSOM
4. everyone from adsom
5. everyone from All The Crooked Saints

list # 3 (authors)
1. let me just begin
2. by saying
3. (typing?) much
5. I love
6.maggie stiefvater
7. and Victoria/V.E. Schwab
8. And Cassandra Clare

9. (a lot)
10. but moving on from queens let's focus on other authors I've discovered this year.
11. Laura Ruby
12. Jandi Nelson
well that's that the list was short lmao

list #4  (bloggers)
1. Aimee Meester @timeforaimeesopinion
2. Cait @paperfury
3. kris @lemon-notes
4. May @foreverandeverly

every time I open up these people's blogs, I get inspired, and I want to blog. you guys rock!

list #5 (writing)
1.I started my novel ( technically I started plotting/planning in 2016 but sheesh get out of my face will you)
2. wrote less than I wanted to
3.wrote nonetheless
4. incorporated some thingssss
5. wrote scenes that surprised me too lol

list #6 (real life)
1. moved
2. changed schools
3. new friends
4. got a scholarship  (for school)
5. I really like my coordinator she's like a mom
6. learned German and gave an exam
7. learned that maybe keeping my mouth shut is a lot better
8. saw the emotionally abusive traits manifest in someone I had just met and cut them off and kind of had my heart broken LET'S MOVE ON
9. Realized that some friendships last no matter what and I am so, so grateful to have that. shout out to my best friends, ily.

this year was a lot of changes and a lot of growth. I feel like I've learnt a lot, but also like I've just begun, you know?
what about you guys? what are your top lists of 2017? I WANT TO KNOWWW



While authors do a pretty good job (read; AMAZING job) of making sure that we get what we need in a story, like Maggie Stiefvater with the Raven Cycle,  telling us what we need to know about our favorite characters to understand who they are and to be able to relate to them, often times we don't get the whole picture of their lives.
Why are they the way they are? When did they first meet their best friend? Were they always the 'mysterious, dark and handsome' guy or is this just a persona that's come on recently? There are tons of questions that we have about our favorite book characters, and we often don't get answers to them, because they don't technically contribute to the actual plot of the story. (doesn't mean we have to stop thinking about them and making up headcannons to satisfy our needs-- i still wonder about the marauders and how they became best friends, what was Sirius' and Regulus' relationship really like, and I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT JILY DANGIT!).

So today, I am going to share with you a list of characters whose back stories have nagged me and interested me and driven me to the dark depths of tumblr fanfic and headcannons.


GOSH I LOVE JILY SO MUCH IT'S RIDICULOUS. I mean there was only ONE scene with young Jily in all the seven books of Harry Potter and ofcourse it had to be so cute that I would want an entire book series about these two fluffballs of love like goodness gracious for the love of all that is holy someone gimme mORE JILY PLS


This goes without saying that where there is James, there must be Sirius, and Remus, and sadly, Peter. But honestly I just want to know what kind of home life Sirius had growing up, like, get a glimpse into his mind. I'd love to know about his and James' chuldhood pranks, his and Regulus' relationship,and even an entire book about his Animagus (becoming one, finding out about Lupin, all of that) and about his love life!!!! And I would LOVE to see Lily interacting with the marauders like why did Rowling have to release The Cursed Child why not a prequel????

3. Gansey From The Raven Cycle

Okay, I know, I mean we know MOST of his story that's relevant but, like, how did he first meet Ronan? I want full detailed scenes and I want to know about his anxiety and how he coped with it and please tell me he got professional help. I want to know about the time he ran away from home, and I mean obviously this kid has traveled THE WORLD practically why don't we get more of his fun Gansey-ventures.

4.Declan Lynch From The Raven Cycle

I don't know man, he's such an under-rated character but I just?? love him??? like what was it like when he found out about his father's ability, what was it like to have a little brother who did the same thing, to be the one in the family who can't? I want to know about the times when their dad was alive and him and Ronan had a sOMEWHAT better relationship.


Okay. like, I know the entire book is tHEM, basically but I want to know about their relationship. when and how did they meet? Fall in love? say ily for the first time? first date? ezra meeting kady's scientist mom? ezra being a jock and kady being the hacker and their lives and their cute lovey-dovey relationship??  HER PINK HAIR AND THE STORY OF HOW SHE DYED IT??I WANT!!


Okay I love The Shades of Magic series so much it is unreal. And I read somewhere that Victoria Schwab signed a 1 million dollar book deal to write another series with Kell and Lila and the rest of the cast. SO I AM ONE VERY HAPPY CAMPER.
If you've read this series (if not

  • why)
you'll have seen that we don't know about Kell's real biological parents and that whole backstory and I want to know very very badly. 
As for Lila she is so badass and powerful and wonderful, but only a tough life could have sharpened her into the knife that she ends up being, and I want to know more about that. About her childhood, the eye thing, and everything in between too.

7. RHYS from Shades of Magic

I just really love this series, okay? SIGH I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY FAVORITE PRINCE SMOL SINNAMON BUN IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR. I want to find out about his relationships and EVERYYTHANG.

So there you have it folks. A list of characters whom I love so much that I want to know more of their backstories. Which ones can you relate to? (If you can't, that's fine too)
Which characters have you read about whose stories you want to know?




soooooo i did camp nano* for the first time and I made an account and did the the whole cabin shebang and thing.

*camp Nano is this online writer camp thingy, and NanoWrimo stands for 'National Novel Writing Month' which is officially in November, but the events/camp that happens otherwise in the year is called Camp. Hence the title.

And it was one of my favorite times, even though life(!!!) got in the way far too many times (wHY) but I'm so thankful that my parents supported me. YEP. I told my parents that I'm writing a book and getting all serious about it. no pressure.
To be completely honest, the words were annoying and hard to get out.
 But I wrote them.
Those messy, first-time words that took a small piece of my soul with them each time I pressed the space bar, and even when I didn't. I was constantly thinking about it, pressurizing myself.

At first, I set the goal for 30k

 and then it hit me that with my current schedule, it was changing, my life was changing. There were chores to be done and guests to be attended to and driving lessons to be attended. and as a result I decided that I probably couldn't succeed in writing what was essentially 1K PER DAY, so I reduced that to 15k.

 and then we had some more guests and I had to do more chores. AND then I had more chores and then my mom fell ill,
did i mention the effin chores?  so I had to take care of her and do choooressss
so I felt super pressurised, and tried to keep pushing myself,  but near the final  days it became obvious that even 15k was too much to ask of me.
Despite evrerything, I'm proud of what I've accomplished, so thankful for the strengh nd determination that pushed me to follow this through (because honestly, there were so many times that all I wanted to do was lay down and NOT DO IT) and to my parents, who let me write when I needed to even when it meant that the dishes would be undone for the next half an hour. honestly, they were so much more supportive than I could ever have imagined.

so, what exactly is my novel about, you ask? what is the plot, the characters, the setting?
well, yes, that's a fine question and all that.
It's a YA sci-fi spy adventure novel that takes place, in part, in a castle in the ice laden, frosted over mountains of Europe, and the rest of it takes place in a ship. Exciting, no?

I've been planning this thing since the summer of last year, and so you can imagine how attached I am to my little unfinished baby. It's a mess, I'll be honest,but over the past few days, weeks, months, as I've written it and fleshed out scenes and laid down the bare bones of some others, I've discovered things about my characters that I didn't know.
like, Vincent Donovan (don't you laugh at my puppy's name, he already gets enough of that from E, another character) was supposed to be this little ball of cute fluffiness and he was supposed to be innocent and sweet and forgiving and not demand the information that he did end up demanding and wow so much anger has sprung forth from my little politician's son I CRI.



and anyone who didn't get to complete it, well, be happy still. you took the initiative and wrote down more than you had before. SO HUZZAH FOR YOU TOO. HERE, SON, HAVE SOME ICE CREAM.
(no, my ice-cream won't make you diabetic, pfftt.)


A letter to a brother, by VINCENT DONNOVAN
So, here you go. Hopefully you liked these words, they're some of my favorites.

How did your Nano adventures go? what's your story about? TELL ME!



pictures from a past life, a past self // IN WHICH I SHOW YOU PICTURES OF MY DIARY

okay, so here's a story: once, there lived a girl, nicknamed Deeja, and she made an account on wattpad. from there stemmed her love for writing and connecting with people, and she began keeping a journal, filled with plot bunnies, thoughts, ideas, whether they be in the form of a diagram or web or a paragraph. this girl was like 12 at the time, and her mind was overflowing with these thoughts that for her were brand new, but she later discovered (or realized, really) that they were an amalgamation of the shitty stories she had read on wattpad and some random things on her mind. she started writing for a little bit, then abandoned the prospect in favor of not failing all her classes.

so the journals remained there, gathering dust, in her UNICEF bag from that one event that she got to attend. of course, the bag happened when she was 14, so before that the journals were kept in the most secret parts of her bag in the upstairs room, open only for her. (the journal, not the room). 

fast forward to the a few weeks ago, when i decided to open up my journals and this is what i discovered: pages and pages of story planning. a couple of ideas from these journals are still brewing in my mind, still forming, while some I've abandoned because i truly don't like them or agree with them anymore. plus, they were vv unoriginal, so no thank you!
anyways guys, here are the pictures from my 'writing journal'. you get to take a look at my budding phase as a writer, oh, lucky you. 
this poem, i think it was about life or exams-i can't remember.


woo look at me maa, no hands!

the amount of pages I used to outline this story. it was a fanfic/werewolf hybrid. *shudders* the first page shows options I had for titles. ughh hy past me whyy
we all start somewhere, right? that's what my Accounts teacher says, anyway

So there you have it, folks. Me and my old, messy, messy words. 10 points for anyone who can actually make out what I wrote. Write down something that you understood from these pages! 
until next time,


BOOK REVIEW/Sofia Khan is Not Obliged/ A million things in my mind// accurate representation//we need more books like these

Rating: 4.7/5
So this book. I LOVED IT!
The book follows thirty year old Sofia, a brown hijabi Muslim woman living in London,  as she breaks off her engagement to long-term boyfriend/fiancĂ© Imran, because he wanted them to live with his parents. Her mother is distraught, but Sofia herself is adamant and in true womanly fashion, declares celibacy and decides not to get married at all.
But here’s the thing. Sofia works in the publishing industry and gets offered a chance of a lifetime; to write a book. About Muslim dating. And she takes it.
 Cue online dating on a website called ‘’ (literally translates to and hilarious dates/non-dates as she tries to maintain her job, her sister’s wedding preparations, her typical-brown-mom’s demands for her to FIND someone, and her feminist and diverse group of friends and their own love lives and struggles.
The book is written in the form diary entries, and starts off in a really light tone, though some pretty serious and important stuff comes up.
Now, I don’t read contemporary very often, because to be honest, I kind of hate it.
But I really loved the way this book as written.
 It had unfiltered thoughts by a feminist and religious Muslim woman (which is very much accurate) and felt real and relatable on so many levels. I especially loved the way her dad was portrayed in this book. Many of the aunties and uncles, family members whose judgment none could escape, all of that was stuff that I have experienced, seen, or heard of in my life.
The whole book felt so personal. It felt like Sofia was my friend and every time I opened the book, I was actually going to hang out with her, instead of reading it. Her friends, family and everyone else in this book, basically—including Naim, the attractive happenstance friend, Suj, the Sikh supermodel friend, her mom, her dad, Conall, and even her boss seemed to jump out of the pages of the book.
I tend to hate characters in a lot of books, but honestly, except for stupid ex Imran, I really liked all the characters. Sofia herself felt so real.
This book mainly follows hers and her friends’ love lives, and gives an inside view of the lives of some Muslim families (a lot of stuff about how they go about the process of marriage/meeting you intended, etc, is very different from what I’ve seen in my family, because every family has their own lifestyle, even amongst brown nations).
There was also the mention of being seen as ‘different’ and dealing with racism. A scene occurs while boarding the train where Sofia gets called a terrorist by an old man, and that bothers her a lot. She thinks about it well into the book.
I love how she’s shown as a flawed character; she tries to be religious/stay devout and clean, but often sneaks cigarettes, and even helps her dad hide his stash from her mom.
Her meetings/ interactions with the supposedly racist neighbor are hilarious. He is a white guy who is very antisocial and unsmiling and in the beginning doesn’t even utter a word—for that reason, and his unsmiling demeanor in the face of her wide grins, Sofia thinks he’s racist and that he sees her as a terrorist, which only drives her to assault him with more smiles and kindness and general awkward conversational word vomit. It’s all very fun.
The!!!! Book!!! Was!!!! So!!!! Character!!!! Driven!!!!
The book really felt like a coming of age sort of novel in a way. Sofia is lost in many ways in her life in the beginning of the book, and through her experiences, the twists and turns of the book, (which often left me laughing) she learns a lot. But I still feel like she was too confused. I know it was part of her character development, but come on, how any times do you call a wedding on and off? Her mistakes felt real and honest.  And Imran. Ugh. Get him out of my face, please. That idiot.
Ultimately, in the end Sofia is faced with an unexpected (the plot twist was real) choice, and she has to take a leap of faith. While many characters in the book itself may disagree with her decision, she makes it, and then acts on it, and I think that part really showed how strong and independent of a woman she had come to be.
As an avid fantasy, sci-fi, and adventure reader, I’m used to plots that are much more faster and intense... but, truth be told, I was so eager when reading this book, I was always flipping pages (faster than I read my current favorite fantasy series!)

summer fashion wishlist // things i can't afford

so, sUMMER.
fashion. flowy skirts, flowy sleeves, revealed shoulders, bell bottoms and all that, basically sums up the trends I've been seeing in fast fashion these days. And since I am tragically broke after my recent shopping trip (there was a flat 35% sale on this really nice, expensive-ish local brand and we had to stay in the line for one and a half hour, nearly, just to be able to pay for our stuff. we stayed there till past midnight. it was my first real sale experience and it was absolutely crazy. so many people. so much drama. so much pressure to choose the right clothes. )
any ways, here, in this collage that I've compiled, are pictures of clothes that I think are amazing, and wonderful.
1. My mom got be a bright white and pink peplum top similar to this one on the top left, and I LOVE IT IT'S SO CUTE.
2. Embroidered shirts ALL THE WAY.
3.floral off the shoulder tops are literally so cute, I love them. this particular one has nice, peachy shades to match my heart.
4. open/wide trousers/palazzo pants/flappers are the it thing these days, and neutral shades go with everything.
 this baby kind of color is perfect for work, whie this red ruffle top is so beautiful and flowy, great for parties, dinners, or anything really. wear it to the grocery store if you like.
6. button down? check. lovely pastel shade? check. BOW? CHECK. I'LL HAVE TEN OF THESE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

so I know I don't post about fashion, but since now is the time when I've really started getting into my blogging mojo, I want to experiment with different types of posts, and see which ones I ike to talk about/ write about the best. I hope you guys enjoyed this post.

QUESTION: what are your summer clothing essentials? favorite piece of clothing? something from your wishlist? please share, I would love to know!

A look at some of the things I love

here's another life update for y'all, because they're just so interesting.
school's out, it's over, I'm free. except not really. i miss my friends, i miss the daily chatter, the fun, i miss that hiking trip we went to months ago and i miss the comfort that stuff offered me.
but now it's time to pull on my Big Girl Pants, and get stuff done.
Like this blog post.

-so, number one on one of the things that I love is this picture of a REAL tree that I took when we went hiking, it was incredibly funny yet sad.

-next is this picture that I asked my baby niece to make of this little teddy bear of hers, honestly it is precious

-some more nature from the hiking trip.

-this kitty that roams our neighborhood. she now has two baby kittens and she's very needy, and loves cuddles. her babies tend to run away when you go near them. it's all good and lovely.
apparently I can't get enough of nature, so here's another stunning picture of a tree, this beautiful one from my family's village. it's stunning and gorgeous and has that old-school vibe that's just so rustic, and ugh.
I'm feeling all the nostalgia right now, guys, if you hadn't noticed. It's been a tough few months, and I find myself escaping through thoughts of the past and future, and nostalgia and old memories just hit me.
like a punch in the face.
more in the heart but, you know.

What are your summer plans, what stuff do you miss right now? Do you find yourself lost in your thoughts more often than you'd like? 
lemme know, y'all.

June TBR!

Okay, so FINALLY summer has started, and I couldn't be happier. EXAMS ARE OVERRR!!!
excuse me as i go and do a happy dance *shimmies and flails wildly*
 I am so tired right now, it's six a.m., and I'm sitting on my laptop, thinking of what to read this summer.

I have a pretty vague idea, one that involves books that are inspiring, books that are fun,and books that are just beautiful, really. Problem is, to find out whether any book actually meets my criteria, I need to first read it. so.

here is my JUNE TO BE READ PILE:

*fireworks commence*

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby
The Love Interest by Cale Dietrich
A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
Heist Society by Ally Carter
This Could End by Steph Bowe
The Secret Science of Magic by Melissa Keil

I'm probably not gonna end up reading all of these, but these are the books I have in mind/am in the mood for these next few weeks. Let's see how it goes.


A Lil' Poetical

I came across this poem the other day, and it really touched my heart, so I thought I'd share it.

Image result for i shall not live in vain
this picture was taken from, not my own.


Real Life--I Feel Happy

These past few months have been hectic. Exhausting, anxiety filled and lots and lots of work and exam stuff going on. I have an exam the day after tomorrow too. But whatever.
So, Aimee here on her blog has done something really cool where she’s updated us on her life with some cool words, and I have been heavily inspired. So I’m doing a lil’ life update thingy too.

I moved. From a screaming, life-filled, loud and messy urban monster into a neat, white-picket fence, everyone owns expensive cars, clean cut area where there are lawns with trimmed flowers and everyone has dogs and (I am terrified of dogs) and a fancy lil’ neighborhood in a fancy lil’ suburban division, far from where I used to be. And I was nervous. I’ve been anticipating this move for months, and finally we’re here and it’s so much better than what I’d imagined. I was so stressed, but people are nice and there are kids and there’s nature and the lack of noise isn’t actually driving me crazy, it’s fantastic and makes my mind less cluttered and so my life is less cluttered.
There are long drives to school, about an hour or so of travelling to and then an hour or so travelling back and it’s nice, watching the cars go by as I sit in my own, stat-icky radio fuzzing the silence and my father beside me, silent companions after the longest separation
Family stuff is happening. For the first time in my life, there is a sense of returning normalcy. The other day we had a dinner to go to, and our path cut across/through a hilly sort of area, and the city lights  far below are the most beautiful thing ever, and my dad’s playing classical song s from another time and the airs saturated with quiet content,  and my brother is sitting next to me and my mom is in the front seat, and it’s quiet, but it’s good quiet, it’s happy quiet, because I—we, had never thought we’d have this, this togetherness, no country boundaries separating us, being a proper family for once. But we do have it. We do. Finally.

We’re finally a family again after years of separation and I couldn’t be happier.  

a few months ago we suffered a huge blow as aa family, and it felt like my world was going to shatter. But now things are getting better, much better, Thank God, and there's this hope, in my parents' eyes, in my own heart. We're getting better. Day by day.We'll get there.                       

And I’m learning about myself too, a lot. I’m learning that to maintain relationships, you have to let some things go. Friends are nice, and trusting, and maybe I shouldn’t scream so much.
I can survive without the internet which is great too. 

There are bus drives and I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin, I’m learning my city inside out, I’m finding it easier to not be hurt and aching all the time.  It’s tough, and school is kind of mean, but it’s good folks.

how's life for y'all?

In which I share my resolutions

so with 2016, (a not-so-good year for me, tbh, due to reasons) out of the way, and a whole new year, 365 days, 12 months, ahead of us, it's time to re-evaluate ourselves and make a plan for the new year.
I usually don't believe in resolutions for the new year,

 because most of the time they end up being abandoned and slip away into dust and shadows in the back of our minds by the second week of January.

 but this time it's gonna be different.
 I want to have a plan, I want to make a change.
I want this year to be my year. 
so here is what I am going to try.
1. Improve my posture.
2. be more decisive
3. get more focused on my studies.
4. act more maturely (don't panic, think about ho to fix the situation instead of closing up my mind)
5 don't try to fill up the silence.

this is quite tough, at last, for me these are hard things. but my main priority are these, and i hope to follow them throughout the year.

I'd like to know other people's resolutions for the year too. xx


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